There’s one thing I always think of when I hear “how could you let it get so bad?” and similar phrases. It’s in the comments of every video of matted hair or a dirty kitchen.
I think the appropriate response is “what would have to happen to you for you to let it get that bad?” And when you think about that question, and the horrifying answers that come with it, you almost certainly have more sympathy for the person you were being judgemental to.
People who let their self-care needs go unmet for long periods of time are only rarely lazy and even more rarely comfortable and happy with that state.
How badly injured would you have to be to say “fuck it” to washing dishes?
How bad would you mental health have to be to give up on brushing your teeth?
How much grief would you have to be in to stop making yourself meals?
And the answer is probably lower than many of us have ever had the misfortune to realize.
